Recently I found a page on Facebook that is a perfect fit for me. It’s called “stuff journalists like” and it pretty much compiles crazy things that happen in the life of journalists all across the world.
While I understand that may not tickle your fancy like it does mine (in fact it has reduced me to tears of laughter), I recommend you give it a look. Some of the live TV bloopers and headline gaffes posted may satisfy your New Year’s resolution to laugh more.
With that in mind I dug up some of the most “obvious” headlines I could find to give you an idea of some of the humor we are talking about. And by obvious I mean captain obvious, are you kidding me, well here’s your sign type of headlines.
Here are some of my favorites from esteemed newspapers and news websites from around the country.
1. Utah Poison Control Center reminds everyone not to take poison
2. Study shows frequent sex enhances pregnancy chances
3. Pregnant girls are vulnerable to weight gain
4. Homicide victims rarely talk to police
5. Females likelier to test for women’s diseases
6. State population to double by 2040; babies to blame
7. High-fat, high-sugar diet may fuel weight gain, study finds
8. Healthy diet lowers death risk for women
9. Most earthquake damage caused by shaking
10. Federal agents raid gun shop, find weapons
11. Health officials: pools, diarrhea not good mix
12. Auctioneer finds body in funeral home
13. Winter is the only time to go ice fishing
14. Statistics show that teen pregnancy drops significantly after 25
15. Putting urine in your ears not recommended to treat sinus infections
I think we can stop there. Sometimes the media gets a bad rap for reporting some stupid things…I can’t really argue with that.
I would go through these one by one and add my patented sarcastic comments but I’m not sure I have enough ammunition to say something original about all of these. Perhaps I could borrow some ammunition from the gun shop. Apparently they have weapons there. Yet that was a shock to authorities, I suppose.
That’s enough for this week. I just found out that I have to go ice fishing now because I can’t wait until spring. But I have to wash this urine out of my ears first and find a better cure for my ear infection.
Have a good week. And remember, don’t take poison or jump in the pool with diarrhea.
Just imagine the trouble you would be in if you didn’t read the news.
-Josh Peterson is the editor of the Manchester Times. He is a Tennessee Press Association award-winning writer and photographer. His column, “From the editor’s desk” won TPA first-place honors for best personal humor column. He can be reached by email at firstname.lastname@example.org or by telephone at 931-728-7577 ext. 105. Follow him on Twitter @joshpeterson29