New Year’s resolutions are like clockwork.
Every 365 days we decide to help others, lose weight, unweave our financial tangles and just be all around better people.
But that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t continually set goals that we plan to break. After all, we might keep just one.
Without further ado, here is my list of future broken promises to myself:
1. Lose weight. I heard this is a popular one. I decided last year that I needed to lose weight. I actually lost 25 pounds. Then I gained 30. Then I lost 15. Then I gained 20. I’m not sure where that puts me in the overall picture because I’m a writer and fail gloriously at doing simple math (and I’m lazy and just don’t wanna’ do it) but I think I’m about even on that one. I’m shooting to do a little better this year. If I lose 40 pounds all at once I can afford a 30-pound binge around the holidays.
2. Improve my financial standing. Yeah right. I don’t see that happening. But if I don’t set it as a resolution then I feel like I’m not trying. Saying I’ll do it is the same thing as doing it, right?
3. Be more pleasant. I’ve been described by some as … well, to avoid unpleasant expletives, let’s just say I’ve been described as “difficult to get along with.” Although I’m not convinced this is such a bad thing. I’m cynical, generally grumpy and very to the point. What’s so bad about that? But I’m told sometimes that I should dial it back so I’ll give that a legitimate effort.
4. Avoid expletives. Already off to a good start. See no. 3.
5. Keep a sports writer all year. The sports department at the Times is important. Coming from a sports background I might be a little bias and, in turn, a little hard to please. But it’s the bread and butter of the paper and deserves a good deal of attention.
6. Travel. Yeah right. I would have to seriously do some work on no. 2 before this comes to fruition. But I do aspire to get around a little more this year.
7. Be a better husband. Awh. How sweet and cheesy. But it’s true. Not that I think I’m a bad husband. But who doesn’t need improvement?
I think lucky number seven is a good number to stop at. I don’t know how many of those I can keep. But here is how I see it – the more you set the better chance one has of sticking.
Good luck with your resolutions and Happy New Year. May 2014 be the year of you.
-Josh Peterson is the editor of the Manchester Times. He is a Tennessee Press Association award-winning writer and photographer. His column, “From the editor’s desk” won TPA first-place honors for best personal humor column. He can be reached by email at firstname.lastname@example.org or by telephone at 931-728-7577 ext. 105. Follow him on Twitter @joshpeterson29