That’s so…sweet: A gift givers guide of what not to give mom this Mother’s Day

John Coffelt, Staff Writer Whatever a child gives, mom will cherish, but, after long and exhaustive research, we have put together a few items for grownups to avoid gifting this Mother’s Day. First of all, no calls from jail. Save those until Monday. If you for some reason find yourself in jail Saturday night, sit it out until Monday. Your mother will appreciate it. The second most important thing to avoid is anything that she will have to cook or skin. All joking aside, mom cooks for us all the time. Take her out for Mother Day dinner or cook at your house. If you’re still living at home, a homemade meal is not such a great idea. Sure she’ll appreciate the gesture, but the mess that follows, not so much. You’re over 12 years old, so no homemade cards. Cards can be a tangible way to express what some folks have trouble saying or saying in an efficient manner. Just leave the design to the professionals, repeat this is not a DIY project. Vacuums, pots and pans and other household utility items. There’s a whole umbrella of items here, but it’s hard to say we cherish you by giving mom something by that involve more work. Now the argument stands that a new vacuum will make work easier, but, no, don’t subscribe to that logic. Unless mom asked for a new iron, washer or vacuum, don’t go there. Likely nothing is worse than nothing at all. Mom may say, “awww, honey, you don’t have to get me anything, but unless she’s the exception, you can expect to disappoint with that gift. And on that subject, an IOU note is not really a substitute for a card, again unless your under 12 years old or unless you’re incredibly witty about it or there are some very impressive notes, think new car or trip to the Caymans, not foot massages and back rubs. It should go without saying, passive aggressive gifts like how to be a good mom self-help books are not a good idea. Basically, if you’re suggesting mom needs improvement in any away, just don’t. This includes gym equipment. Gift cards, because you don’t know what she wants. Give cards are impersonal gift better suited for your coworker than your mom. The exception here could be a one to Barnes and Noble, if mom’s a reader, but overall find something that doesn’t scream I don’t know what you like. A pet of any kind is generally a poor idea. Let her make that choice and don’t force more responsibility on her. And finally, avoid presents like perfume (cliché), candy (it’s not Halloween) or alcohol (again wrong occasion).